Why?

I could have lived wonderfully without listening to Faraway single, I know.
The title track is so poor that hurts, but anyway, Oblivious is the b-side, and this time was the second time I've listened to it since the live.
Not that it's such a moving/beautiful song, but I'm restraining from crying with all my might. It's annoying. It's that kind of unexpected crying that it's even more annoying.

GAH.

It reminds me of the last two days spent crying and walking and crying and walking and crying until I saw a Hello Kitty themed Hato Bus, and it was impossible to keep crying with a BIG YELLOW THING COVERED WITH THAT SILLY CAT. The same kind of cry that surprised me on the way back home, I was so desperate. I am so desperate. More than four months have passed but nothing has changed. Nothing. I want to go there again and STAY there.

It's ridiculous, it seems just a child whim, but it's not and every single fucking day I wake up thinking about how I'm wasting my life staying here in this hell when I know perfectly where I should be. And it's even more desperate and much much more ridiculous because I also know perfectly that I'm not in a position to hope for that, because there's no way I could do it. No fucking way. And still I can't think about anything else, and I read of those lucky expats that MADE IT, and I think "They're there, and I'm not. Fuck." It's painful. Totally painful.

"How are you today?"

And it's a Dear asking me that! (just noticed x°°°°°°°°°°D)
Anyway it's strange. Only people far from you (any meaning you will think of is pretty coherent) ask this kind of questions. Or people that doesn't understand you at all.

But, anyway, A DEAR IS ASKING ME HOW I FEEL TODAY! I'm moved. Ok, stop it. Pretty blank, that's how I feel today. But I don't think this would be a proper answer.

(but this was yesterday or two days ago, I can't remember... anyway I answered, and now actually don't remember what exactly I've answered... not that forgetting about post this will bring the Universe to explode, no... but...)

Things I'm currently doing:

- complaining;
- pretending to be studying grammar;
- complaining;
- struggle for memorize some useless kanji for exams that I'll never take(read: "complaining");
- blame the world recession for not allow me to fleeeeee to Japan again any sooner than never.

I'm really on the edge. Not that I'm going to kill my parents or such, I don't know, "change of season" things, but I've had really enough. And thinking that this situation can go on and on and on for WHO KNOWS how many years more... well, it's not that easy.

That, and my parents doing their dirty job a.k.a. PISSING ME OFF with their incredible delicacy, like: "As you get your last salary, give it to me so that if we'll use it if it's needed."

What?

I've worked from 1 to 3/22, my last "month", I had to be paid for 9 hours more coming from the previous month(those faggots REALLY don't know how to count! Amazing!), plus the severance payment made me plan something, as usually people do.

But I've got 561 euros.

I was so speechless. And then, How am I supposed to give all the money to my parents? Am I that crazy? It's not a matter of "help the family" or such bullshits. I'm 25 years old, I'm unemployed, I've got to pay for the phone bills and the sat-tv(a thing that I cannot remove because my mother MUST watch some stupid OLD OLD OLD tv series, but I'm the one to blame here, really), I've just get 561 euros that have already halved because of the bills, and I have to give the change to my parents? And me? I worked for that money, not them. Don't they realize that with them being less FOOL, in the past, maybe I would be graduated by now, away from home, WORKING? Do I have REALLY to remind them that they fucked up my life pretty badly since its beginning? Do I have to make them aware of the pedophile they make me live with for years, without noticing a fucking thing? Do I really have to go that far?

So, I've put on my real self. I'm tired of being the happy fool of the court just to entertain them. I'm sick of this. It's already 17 years of this shit. I didn't beg my mother to have me. I didn't force her in getting together with that idiot of my father, Christ. She knew he was just an idiot, so why? Pity? Oh, thanks, pitiful mother. Look at what you've done.

I'm so tired, I want to go back to Japan but mostly I want to get away from here. I want a job, that would allow me to live and maybe save something, any sum, even the littlest one, just for me. Not for pay for my parents mistakes. And not a job (like the current one) for which I'm not even paid. "Because, in a family, you help each other". Sure. Cool.

This deserve a post...

... and a routine break.

You know, I'm usually a bitch. A nasty person. Someone that laughs at other people disgraces.

And this time is no different!

The thing is that Miyavi is now a newlywed together with some retired younger singer that's CASUALLY pregnant.

How? How in this world I cannot symphathize (woah this one was REALLY difficult) with all those nymphoman- fans all over the universe? HOW?

Miyavi fans all over the world, girls, boys, whatever and wherever you are:

GO GET YOUR RAZOR NOW!!!!!

Don't believe me? Go here and cry your heart out.

Six days more. One day left. KARAOKE NIGHT!

Yeah, I`ll be attending karaoke with a Greek girl that in three hours will be attending gackt`s concert, and Kaoru-san, and maybe more random people that I don`t know. I`ve got to wait until tomorrow.

So, let`s explain my audience xD the "unreal feeling", that`s now it`s fully becomed "surreal".

I mean, it was so easy to get here. Yeah, after four days I can say easily that the flight was really terrifing. I`m surprised in how much I endured. I think it was only because I was alone. Well, now I know that I`m not afraid of flying. My moe points will be cut down, what a pity xD

I can`t have a "live photos show", since I didn`t buy that DARN card reader...well, you`ll see the whole package once I return. I`m taking maybe too much photos. Yesterday, in Shinjuku, I took like a hundred photos and a few are actually from the observatories xD

My foolish trip since now

- thursday; landed, get lost searching the hostel, found the hostel, many "WHAT the hell is this filthy place?!", shower, first approach (I don`t want to bore you with my like ten times getting lost in akiba xD but it was so funny...)

- friday; the ticket grabbing day, also called the "getting out of the metro in shinjuku and asking the koban directions for a shibuya place", and the "you`re sure koban nice policemen/women should know where you`re headed but YOU`RE WRONG!", and in the end "Does it have to rain this RANDOMLY??? Let`s go to Meiji jingu! In this pouring rain! YEAH!!!" and the "Harajuku beware my navi-like skills!" a tiring and expensive day xD

- saturday; the "fuck off and let me sleep", "I have to go to tokyu hands and buy a sleep mask or that fucking snoring bitch will DIE without noticing"

- sunday(until now); the "I`m running out of money, let`s head to ueno AND STOP" day ,and the "Should I sing the same?" and the "Coin laundry - THE REVENGE" day.

So, since I have to do some laundry and prepare myself for my karaoke night, bye folks!

About to leave.

Put aside the fact that this is the first time I'll fly, the fact that I'm traveling alone and that I'll be so so so so far away from the house I live in (yeah this itself deserves analisys).

This time, tomorrow, I'll be in Japan. In Tokyo. THERE.

FEAR.

See ya.

So, simply tell...

W

T

F

?
?
?

I won't own a ticket for the concert. Oh yeah. I knew this like a couple of days ago (frankly, I cannot remember x°D) but I was so MAAAAAAAAAAAAD about this that I couldn't really have the slightest will to write.
T'was a fraud. A total fraud. Fortunately, the lady who bidded for me could have her money back (at least), but I won't attend the concert. I won't laugh while buying the kitakuni keychain. I won't despise with my genetic conceit those fangirls that will buy Gackt's chocolates x°D

I'll probably lay in a corner of the hostel crouched in the dark drawing fictious circles with my index finger.

With three blue vertical lines waving next to my head. Oh yes.

*whispering*Bloody Monday. Errata corrige. Otanoshimini \(ò_ò)/

This deserves a post.

Do you see that little George-san picture, here at right? Yes? So, that's the value of this crappyland X°D

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!

Fangirlism DOES HAVE a value!!!

AH-HA!

Ah, good Lord of rock 'n' roll X°DDDDDDDDDDDDD

Randomity in jobs.

I'll work tomorrow.

No, it's not a hopeful statement. The complete sentence should be: " I didn't work today, so I'll work tomorrow"

Yes, because today was supposed to be my first working day, as a pretty clean clear and crisp JOB CONTRACT states.

But it wasn't.

So, I'll work tomorrow. Yes. Cool. Straight from nine am to half past four pm. Unbelievable.


I don't want to.

There are major issues now to solve. Like Japan's technical recession. How can I work in a moment like this?!


Update: this ticket madness is unbelievable tiring. Someone is proudly selling some fc tickets for the 2/2 concert at the reasonable price of 260 EUROS. Jackals.

There's a good news and a bad news.

Good news: Obama won.

Bad news: I won't attend Gackt's concert.

Useless plot, useless developments, and MOE.

Clannad ~ after story.

One of my favorites, this season ^_^ Despite the baaaaad reviews all over the net. I like it. That's all.

Ok, the bad things:

- I'm afraid of Jesus. In many ways X°D. But the one that scares me the most is that I DON'T WANT to hear another Chachasan's arrangement. I want to hear a Gackt's song.

- Mana-sama is definitely getting on my nerves. Why? Vampire Knight Guilty ED. Stop this NOW, Mana-san. Please ç_ç

Ok, and Obama will lose.

+sad but true+

At least...

... wait for him to be elected!

I hate Illinois Nazis...this quote was sooo needed *nodding*

Backpack mission: done.

Arrived just a couple of ten minutes ago ^_^

Seriously, IT'S CUUUUUUUUUUUUTE.

Way too much, but leaving for the land of cuteness I have to be fully prepared.

What the heck am I writing? Dunno.

See ya, 10 pages of Lucky translation are waiting for me ç_ç

Sometimes...

... I feel like I'm positive in opening a new Italian blog. But most of the times just thinking about it makes me sick. I don't know. At least this one has an educational purpose (not for you, but for me xD). I think I've tried all the Italian weblog platforms existing. And all of them suck. Not just because they're full of "hey look at me! Me! Me!" people. It's just that Italian platforms are totally closed to the rest of the Net! And that's pretty stupid!

Well, now I'm pretty tempted. I would be able to talk and discuss about Italian politic, social issues, news...Why I don't do this here? Because I don't want to bore you more than I already do. And mostly because all these bullshits, in the end, annoy me.
I want to leave, that's all. Best will be Japan, but any other country that offers more to young&willing people than Italy is totally welcome. I want to try working in UK.

Oh La La

I'm always late. That darn hotel >_<

aqui xD