mercoledì 13 maggio 2009

Things I'm currently doing:

- complaining;
- pretending to be studying grammar;
- complaining;
- struggle for memorize some useless kanji for exams that I'll never take(read: "complaining");
- blame the world recession for not allow me to fleeeeee to Japan again any sooner than never.

I'm really on the edge. Not that I'm going to kill my parents or such, I don't know, "change of season" things, but I've had really enough. And thinking that this situation can go on and on and on for WHO KNOWS how many years more... well, it's not that easy.

That, and my parents doing their dirty job a.k.a. PISSING ME OFF with their incredible delicacy, like: "As you get your last salary, give it to me so that if we'll use it if it's needed."


I've worked from 1 to 3/22, my last "month", I had to be paid for 9 hours more coming from the previous month(those faggots REALLY don't know how to count! Amazing!), plus the severance payment made me plan something, as usually people do.

But I've got 561 euros.

I was so speechless. And then, How am I supposed to give all the money to my parents? Am I that crazy? It's not a matter of "help the family" or such bullshits. I'm 25 years old, I'm unemployed, I've got to pay for the phone bills and the sat-tv(a thing that I cannot remove because my mother MUST watch some stupid OLD OLD OLD tv series, but I'm the one to blame here, really), I've just get 561 euros that have already halved because of the bills, and I have to give the change to my parents? And me? I worked for that money, not them. Don't they realize that with them being less FOOL, in the past, maybe I would be graduated by now, away from home, WORKING? Do I have REALLY to remind them that they fucked up my life pretty badly since its beginning? Do I have to make them aware of the pedophile they make me live with for years, without noticing a fucking thing? Do I really have to go that far?

So, I've put on my real self. I'm tired of being the happy fool of the court just to entertain them. I'm sick of this. It's already 17 years of this shit. I didn't beg my mother to have me. I didn't force her in getting together with that idiot of my father, Christ. She knew he was just an idiot, so why? Pity? Oh, thanks, pitiful mother. Look at what you've done.

I'm so tired, I want to go back to Japan but mostly I want to get away from here. I want a job, that would allow me to live and maybe save something, any sum, even the littlest one, just for me. Not for pay for my parents mistakes. And not a job (like the current one) for which I'm not even paid. "Because, in a family, you help each other". Sure. Cool.

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