I could have lived wonderfully without listening to Faraway single, I know.
The title track is so poor that hurts, but anyway, Oblivious is the b-side, and this time was the second time I've listened to it since the live.
Not that it's such a moving/beautiful song, but I'm restraining from crying with all my might. It's annoying. It's that kind of unexpected crying that it's even more annoying.
GAH.
It reminds me of the last two days spent crying and walking and crying and walking and crying until I saw a Hello Kitty themed Hato Bus, and it was impossible to keep crying with a BIG YELLOW THING COVERED WITH THAT SILLY CAT. The same kind of cry that surprised me on the way back home, I was so desperate. I am so desperate. More than four months have passed but nothing has changed. Nothing. I want to go there again and STAY there.
It's ridiculous, it seems just a child whim, but it's not and every single fucking day I wake up thinking about how I'm wasting my life staying here in this hell when I know perfectly where I should be. And it's even more desperate and much much more ridiculous because I also know perfectly that I'm not in a position to hope for that, because there's no way I could do it. No fucking way. And still I can't think about anything else, and I read of those lucky expats that MADE IT, and I think "They're there, and I'm not. Fuck." It's painful. Totally painful.
The title track is so poor that hurts, but anyway, Oblivious is the b-side, and this time was the second time I've listened to it since the live.
Not that it's such a moving/beautiful song, but I'm restraining from crying with all my might. It's annoying. It's that kind of unexpected crying that it's even more annoying.
GAH.
It reminds me of the last two days spent crying and walking and crying and walking and crying until I saw a Hello Kitty themed Hato Bus, and it was impossible to keep crying with a BIG YELLOW THING COVERED WITH THAT SILLY CAT. The same kind of cry that surprised me on the way back home, I was so desperate. I am so desperate. More than four months have passed but nothing has changed. Nothing. I want to go there again and STAY there.
It's ridiculous, it seems just a child whim, but it's not and every single fucking day I wake up thinking about how I'm wasting my life staying here in this hell when I know perfectly where I should be. And it's even more desperate and much much more ridiculous because I also know perfectly that I'm not in a position to hope for that, because there's no way I could do it. No fucking way. And still I can't think about anything else, and I read of those lucky expats that MADE IT, and I think "They're there, and I'm not. Fuck." It's painful. Totally painful.
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